Rarest of Rare – No rape, No molestation and this is what India did

Believe it or not, India has achieved something in a rarest of rare occasion and there was no rape or molestation of a single woman. This news is getting good traction in many circles and Indians are feeling proud as if ‘achhe din’ (good days) have come.

Before we tell you what just happened, we need to tell you that even many foreign nationals didn’t believe that India could do anything without any rape or molestation Even a few days ago in a foot overbridge collapse (Elphinstone bridge in Mumbai) when Indian men were busy saving lives (including women), it was found by some great Indian media houses that men were in fact molesting dying women. For this news coverage, The Hindu (a national Indian English media house that many Indians feel proud of) has also got the coveted ‘Pervertshri’ award as well. Some feminists however claimed the name of the award is sexist and depicts male chauvinism and should be changed to ‘Pervertshrimati’ as women have so far shown their leadership in this category. In Elphinstone bridge story as well, a woman journalist discovered that men were actually molesting women, which even Mumbai police could not find out.

The Independent, another prominent UK media copied this story from The Hindu, and gained a lot of popularity, too. Indian rape and molestation stories have given international media good business opportunity ever since 2012 Nirbhaya incident. The Pervertshris and Pervertshrimatis of Indian media create enough news for foreign media to copy paste and get easy popularity among voyeurs. With this new achievement by India, foreign media will surely be dejected.

We can stress so much that there was no rape or molestation involved in this because even Pervertshrimatis in The Hindu didn’t find any rape or molestation to be involved. They published the news like this –

Flyover built in India

So, a flyover is built in India without any rape angle established. Amazing!!

We have contacted some feminists and MRAs for their reaction. Ganjana Kumari, a prominent leader of a Delhi based feminist NGO has said, “when only 1% rape cases are reported, how will you find anything reported in this case. This proves how patriarchal India oppresses women.”

Feminist Writer, Scholar and 2017 Ted Talk participant Amla Gasin has however found structural injustice and implicit bias in this story. She said, the fact that some part of the road was made elevated with a straight long divider is symbolic representation of male phallus which provokes rape thought. She added, patriarchal India does not understand this structural bias in our structures and promised that she will soon write a book on this and will also deliver another TED Talk.

Activist Sudha Fartkar, who was under ED scanner a few years ago, because she was found to be stalling Govt. developmental projects by agitating locals, said that creating artificial structures on mother earth itself is raping the environment. With a long fart, she added that “Green Peas and other foreign bodies send us huge money to stop such projects in the interest of international community.”

MRAs have said all this is ‘meaningless’ and advised everyone to focus on some meaningful work.

***

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I withdrew when she said ‘No’ during sex, we are getting divorced now

No in relationship

I really don’t understand why it is so difficult for people to understand that, “No Means No”. I searched in all reliable dictionaries and I didn’t find any other meaning or use that could possibly mean ‘yes’ or ‘May be’ etc. Also, I don’t know what it means to be a feeble ‘No’ or strong ‘No’ or how the meaning of same word could possibly differ. But surprisingly, I am getting divorced today, for believing ‘No’ means ‘No’.

We got married after matching our astrology and there it gave us 7/7 in ‘love’ koota milan. That meant we were meant to be a happily loving couple. And believe me, even though we couldn’t break our bed in first night, we could somehow retained that fervor for at least one year after our marriage. No, don’t think I am one of those porn guys who could last forever. We somehow learnt some tricks of the game to stay longer and ‘role plays’ were a good method for us. Many Indian couples resort to role plays nowadays, that really creates that extra enthusiasm in them.

From the beginning, we were very open about sex. We believed that sex may not be the only component in a love life, but it is one of very important components if not the most important. So, both of us were open about our past relationships, crushes, early fetishes etc. and we took vows to fulfill each other’s wildest dreams. No matter what it could mean for the other person unless it was life threatening or a criminal offense. Once we both decided to have wild wild sex in our car in a lonely road. Oh, believe me, that was ecstatic.

But what I wanted to tell you, happened in our bed room. We were playing roles of a boss and his lady assistant. She told me that she had a crush on one of her previous bosses and wanted to have sex with him. But he turned out to be kind of geeky and moral person. Since I worked in Engineering concerns or high-tech jobs throughout my life, I never had any opportunity to have sexy female assistants or colleagues. For me, my wife was all the more beautiful. She was my hottest assistant, she was my Sunny Leaone. But, truly speaking I too had a crush on someone in one of my previous organizations. She was the Executive Assistant to the CEO. No matter how odd my other colleagues looked, she was the Bong hotbod around. Many VPs and Directors were behind her and she was completely out of my reach. I thought this was my chance to imagine her in my bed while we engaged in this role play. You know it is very important for the man to really MAN up in these occasions.

She played a not very submissive assistant, but kind of tricky and flirty one who would allow you to come near her but not touch her. Ufff, that part was thrilling. Convincing a woman to have sex and undressing her one by one. It is better that women don’t take action too fast, else all our self-control will burst out too soon. This made us last really looooong in foreplay and raise the excitement gradually. She was trying all deft tricks to keep me away while I was becoming more desperate to come near her.

But even the wildest boars are tamed by man, so naturally that wild boar also got tamed and became ecstatic in foreplay. Soon, we both were undressed, with me caressing and fondling her vigorously and kissing her all over. She became so much aroused that released once but that ecstasy kept her wanting for more. She wanted more and more and it was very difficult for me to hold for long.

We both were rolling on the bed and vigorously caressing and expressing love for each other. Our love grew as our wildest fantasies came alive in our role play. She was tightly gripping two pillows with her two fingers while her body was bent like a bow in ecstasy. I was licking her body all over and both were at the ultimate level of excitement. By that time, she started making love making sounds and moaning …

“…aaah, yes, yes, …more, aaahhhhh, oh nooo…don’t…stop…aahhh”

As I heard her uttering words like, ‘No’, ‘Stop’, ‘Don’t’; I immediately withdrew myself. The last thing I wanted in my relationship was me end up raping my wife. I really hated ‘Marital Rape’ and believed that it should be considered as cruel as any other ‘rape’.

So, I withdrew myself completely and took my hands off her. By then she was almost bent and her back formed a bow that I was holding tightly while caressing. As I withdrew myself and took my hands off her, she had a great fall at the corner of the bed and got hurt. With this sudden change of her mind and the feeling of me possibly raping her even my orgasm had a sudden great fall.

But, to my surprise she became furious with my sudden withholding from the act and not fulfilling her desire. She kicked me with choicest abuses and that immediately sucked my manhood inside me. I tried to reason her that it was she who wanted me to stop, it was she who said ‘No’, ‘Stop’ etc and that is why I didn’t proceed. But she became even more furious with that. Her claim was I was an idiot and that she actually wanted me to continue forever without stopping. But the damage was done. With that shock and her abuses, all my energy suddenly vanished.

She left my house the next morning. She complained that I was impotent and filed for divorce under cruelty.

I am still wondering, does ‘No’ really mean ‘No’ or sometimes it means a strong ‘yes’. Someone, please help me.

***

These are the FEMinized men who support Marital Rape PIL

Their petition to Delhi High Court says, “there are men, there are men and there are better men”. Naughty netizens explained like this, “there are men, there are men who licks women’s boot and then there are us who want to lick their ch**t”.

Incidentally, their address was found in their petition –

FEM Address

A men’s group located at the basement of a ‘women’s hostel’ speaks volume about what level of ‘gender equality’ they have achieved. Some people said they are ‘Jenana’ (people with male organ but identify themselves as women) and opined that in the era of gender equality this is indeed a great example of a fluid gender. Yeah, after all, our gender identity can change throughout our life.

So, as soon as they found two men’s group approached the High Court against the PIL, they came forward  –

Interestingly, this group that identifies themselves as a men’s group is named as ‘FEM’ that raises eyebrows at their desperation to be with women. A group that hides itself behind women with a pseudo identity of FEM, is now propagating as if ‘a men’s group is supporting Marital Rape PIL’ as their petition said, “we wish our wives and wives of all Indian men, not to be reduced to legal objects incapable of sexual will, and with no legal ability for sexual ability’. Yeah, basement of a hostel where young women live, is a great place for these aged, grey-haired men to give sexual power to their wives.

So, these FEMinized men from a woman’s hostel is out to give justice to women for ‘effective decision-making over their reproduction’.

They feel that marital rape exception ‘takes away the right of our wives to say no, and as such also takes away their right to say yes to consensual sexual intercourse, whether it’s pro-creational or recreational’. Other Indian husbands however remained unlucky of NOT having the luxury of getting recreation sitting in a woman’s hostel and thinking how oppressed their wives are.

I was going through FEM website of grey-haired messiahs of women, when another grey-haired man and a messiah came in my mind. He was Khurshid Anwar, a divorcee who fought for women’s rights and was creating ruckus in Delhi in the name of Nirbhaya protest in the morning. Tired of protests, In the evening, he was seeking recreation in his home. He made one of his female NGO member drink and then in the name of providing her shelter in his own home where he lived alone (after throwing out his wife). He had his recreation that night and the woman didn’t go to police, but went to other feminist groups. No wonder, why feminists say only 1% rapes are reported. They must be having fist hand experiences like these. That grey-haired messiah committed suicide in 2013 but left many others like him behind.

I was hoping to see some wisdom in the petition of these over-aged recreation seekers, instead what I got was all their emotional statements like, ‘marriage is a partnership between equals, but men having privilege of having sex at their instance’ etc. As if, women today are not literate or can’t express themselves. This thought itself reduces women to mere retards, who can’t express themselves and the group propagating this are calling themselves as fighting for women’s rights.

Their petition says, ‘the fact that some women have been driven to complain of coerced sex’ is completely devoid of this sense of equality that does not give any chance to a man to even express his sexual willingness, either in marriage or outside. Wish they had looked into NCRB rape data and entertained themselves. But probably they didn’t get time to look out of their girls’ hostel closet.

These FEMs believe that criminalizing marital rape, ‘legal personhood of their wives only benefits men and helps marriage to flourish’, probably the way IPC 498a has been doing all these years.

Surprisingly, FEM as a group claims to have researchers, academics etc. in their group. I wonder what is the real outcome of their research with so little knowledge about present social or legal scenario.

This group headed by Dr. Abhijit Das who claims to be a obstetrics, pediatrics and public health professional for thirty years, is surprisingly trying to intervene in a legal petition with no knowledge about the prevailing social condition and with some funny logic of men being oppressive for ages.

FEM’s petition also carry big advertisement about their work and association with feminist organizations like UN Women, that wants to USE men for women’s benefit. Their activities primarily include use of men to show how terrible they are and why they should be punished for being males, like they are doing in marital rape.

But this group of fluid identity persons knew that some educated, logical and data driven MRAs could ruin their game plan of destroying our society with foreign funds. As, they filed their intervention after they saw two men’s rights group intervening in this PIL and opposing this feminist move of bringing crime in our intimate moments.

They showed great intellect in showing data from IMAGES (2011) survey and claimed 20% Indian men reported committing sexual violence against their wives, while forgetting that data driven MRAs also know what they are hiding from the same survey. The same survey showed 96% Indian wives said that they were Sexually satisfied in their marriage (Figure 1). So, do women enjoy rape? Or there is some desperate attempt to show marital rape for some other intention, like breaking Indian society in the name of women’s rights by masquerading as men’s group advocating these changes? However, these so-called researchers didn’t know that women forcing men for sex was never reported in IMAGES Survey but was reported in India Today Annual Sex Survey, 2016.

We also find another interesting fact about marital rape from our census data. By comparing 2001 and 2011 census data we come to know that the married women percentage has increased from 43.6% to 49.9% in these years; whereas married men percentage remained the same. Looks like for women, it’s awesome to get raped in marriage.

FEM also claimed to have worked with men and understood that those men had been raping their wives. They also claimed in their petition, that there were many women who came forward and reported ‘repeated’ sexual violence against their husbands to FEM members. Surprisingly, those women didn’t seek or FEM members didn’t suggest them to get divorce? This is possible only if FEM members didn’t know the existing laws (which is unlikely as they work with UN Women and supposed to know the law) or they are telling lies to Delhi HC (for which they need to be summarily punished).

Devoid of any significant data, these FEMs spoke about Indian patriarchy in many ways. They have also pointed that men are socialized in such a way to believe that ‘sex is their right’.

FEM has also gone one step ahead in demanding that this provision should only be made ‘for women’, because they believed that ‘a woman will bring such a complaint against her husband only when she is desperate’ – and we have seen in 498a cases what that desperation means.

In their petition, FEMs gave examples of surveys that have considered men as a perpetrator and women as the victims and designed questions accordingly. Surely enough, from the four walls of women’s hostel these self-proclaimed fluid scholars couldn’t understand that criminal provisions can’t be made based on their emotional state.

The last 21 pages of their petition, is their advertisement telling the court how much gender hatred they had propagated since inception under different UN Women programs and how much lies they had successfully spread in these years. By having a look at their petition, we know that when FEMinized  men get their MENopause, they can do anything to be acceptable to women, even at the cost of their own society, and future. When funds from UN Women is added to this, these men can get their MENchurailisation (FEM form of menstruation specially for fluid gender 😉 ) back.

***

This is the first ever sneek peek into ‘Save The Girl Child’

After Keegan Pinto and FCB Ulka’s take on how to save boys from becoming predators ‘Beti Bachao’ activists are coming up with another campaign called ‘Save The Girl Child’. This campaign will feature little primary school girls saying some of the areas that their parents can help them from childhood.

We have grabbed some of the snapshots from the video but removed the girls and put some silhouettes.

SaveTheGirlChild 7

These girls appear in the video and appeal to their parents in Hindi (translated verbatim into English) like – “Mummy, papa..save me today. Save me from becoming a child molester.

SaveTheGirlChild1

They say, “save me from becoming a misandrist. Save me today or tomorrow I will hate papa you, my little brother and I will kill my own son. Do you want me to think my papa as a rapist, brother as a molester? No right? Save me mummy, save me papa”

SaveTheGirlChild2

“Save me mummy from becoming a rapist and then being a victim. Please stop me from raping innocent boys as now 16 year olds can also be termed a rapist by me.”

SaveTheGirlChild3

One three year old appear and say in her sweet voice – “Mummy, help me today from filing false rape case against my papa, otherwise tomorrow I will file a rape case against him. Stop me from raping my husband and then claiming him impotent”.

SaveTheGirlChild4

A four year old appear in a pink frock and say – “Mummy, papa stop me today from becoming a feminist criminal who hides behind feminism to hide from all her criminal activity. Please save me from being that bitch who wants to destroy our children.”

SaveTheGirlChild5

A five year old preschooler says in the film – “Save me mummy from being a parasite on other men and then calling them predators. Save me papa from being a parasite on the society where I won’t contribute anything but will expect all benefits. Save me else even after I get best education, training and job I will still be parasite.”

SaveTheGirlChild6

“Save me mummy, save me today else I will become a nudist in the name of feminism and will think showing ‘private parts in public’ as my right. Save me or I will think abuses and sexist comments against boys and men as my empowerment. Save me else slut walk will be my daily activity.”

This video ends with a note – “Because if you save me today, you will help in completely destroying this misogynist nation. Let’s show patriarchy a taste of cruelty.”

Surely this is going to be a new era in women’s rights.

***

 

Finding most empowered woman

silhouette-606701_640

This time I decided to find out empowered women. Where else they can be found easily except the place of open culture, the first love of all foreign tourists in India – Goa.

My friend and I decided to join together to a trip to Goa where she had a different work. I requested her to accompany me in exploring Goa in her break from official duty. She agreed and we decided to spend the weekend tour together.

Since my intention to finding the most empowered Indian women (that my friend didn’t know) I decided to visit a night club. We spotted a pub where couple entry was free before a certain time. All pubs in India charge a premium to single men while some are generous enough to offer such free riders to couples. Women entry is free anyway. This always gave me a feeling that these pubs give signal that men should have a prized catch in the name of a woman to gain free entry for a restricted time. Else they are not entertained.

My friend and I went in and very soon we were sitting near the bar drinking. It was early hours in the night and the pub was still not fully operational. Only a few couples and ladies were to be seen. While the entry was free and people started drinking the dance floor was still closed. We sat quietly near the bar and I have ordered for a beer and my friend ordered juice. Of course I paid for her drink as the provider gene is in my blood. I will say she was kind enough to restrict herself only a juice and not hard drinks. After all, my entry otherwise could have costed me Rs. 3000.

I was looking around for most empowered women. Women sitting at the round tables of the bar and drinking scotch or smoking hookah were all looked equally empowered. None of them were wearing full dress and the amount of skin shown was my measurement of empowerment. Well, I was trying to be a feminist there. My friend that way was very outdated. She was the only girl in the entire bar with full covered dress with a glass of juice in her hand. Quite a scene in a Goa pub really.

While I was busy spotting the most empowered woman around and I was confused with whom to choose, a girl entered in a frock that barely covered her arse.  Not to mention that the back was completely open. She entered waving to the western tunes, immediately gone to the bar, took a few Tequila shots and went on dancing near the bar. Looking at her dress and moves I was feeling that she was probably the most empowered of all, while a second woman entered and she stole my thought.

She was wearing hot pants that showed more skin that it actually covered. The top was a bunch of strings covering some important parts but baring open more. What I liked about her was she was wearing horns that was blinking, giving a feeling that she was horny. The threads of her top was dancing on her belly button and kissing other important parts in such a way as if they were inviting other guys. Most of the time she made a pout with many guys in there, was offered tequila many a times and in no time she was seen in other guys’ arms. Wow!! I felt I found the most empowered woman in Goa. She was carefree, shame free (or shameless), going all over the place and trying drinks, hookah all. All eyes were soon focused on her. My friend was quietly sitting near the bar as she watched me trying to find out someone. Obviously she was nobody among those highly empowered women.

By that time I noticed some foreign nationals had entered the pub. No one noticed them as they were quietly drinking at one corner. That group was a mix of white and black people. Not much special sight in Goa and I didn’t observe them.

The dance floor opened at 10 PM. The night became more colourful, younger at the dance bar. Everyone was trying to give their best moves to the monotonous music. That DJ was playing similar sounding music all through but people were innovative in their dancing action. My friend and I was catching fast with the tempo when I noticed some of the girls went up a raise round platform (probably made for most attention seekers in the pub) in the middle. A big cloth was hanging from the top and the girls were trying all seductive moves by holding the cloth or without it. Soon guys gathered around them and girls started falling on the guys. I was still trying to spot the most empowered woman of all.

A couple was dancing beside us. A hefty girl with a comparatively athletic guy. The girls on the platform was trying hard to be most seductive (and most empowered) while this girl next to me took the hand of the guy and put that on her huge bottom. In the blinking lights of the night club the seduction was even more as the girls battled for being most seductive and most empowered.

Very soon the music became little faster the girls dancing on the “Attention platform” dropped in the arms of different guys and the guys caught those girls really well. I felt probably those guys could try in Indian Cricket team. No wonder why the girls were good catch for them. Only thing is that I could not understand who was a catch for whom. No wonder why pubs charge a premium from guys. They get to catch the most beautiful balls in there.

By this time the huge woman dancing next to me has allowed the guy to put his hand inside her top, with their faces close by. She was clearly leading the empowerment race in the pub when the foreigner women went to the “attention platform” to dance. Now I noticed them properly.

One of them was bald headed, wearing geeky specs (thick ones). I wouldn’t have recognized her as a woman unless I noticed something that looked like her bra. The other African woman dancing with her didn’t bother about inners. Her boobs were clearly visible from all sides. They were dancing in all possible ways with the cloth and with beer bottles. Their suggestive gestures invited many. Soon I found some heavy bouncers arriving and taking their positions. Well, I understand that their job may be the most difficult one. Being not aroused and stay focused….on women who are trying seductive steps. (lol).

I looked at my sides. My friend and I was almost dancing the same way. The heavy woman and her partner gave up dancing as they became busy in some other intimate act. I was little confused about who was most empowered when I noticed the foreigner girls coming down of the podium and going out of the dance floor in a quite intimate posture. I felt almost certainly that I spotted my most empowered women for that night in them. Because they had not only come out of the clutches of patriarchy, made them free but also had broken all set parameters of gender thinking. One of them was not easily recognizable as a woman unless she showed her bra openly, the other one didn’t even endorse the patriarchal clutches of bra. They were also openly close enough to show that they had broken all barriers of sexual oppression.

My friend asked me to leave the place as she was tired. I was a game too as I spotted my most empowered woman in there.

While out of the pub, I still asked my friend what made her come out so early? She replied, “I need to work on a multi-million dollar deal tomorrow. Need to sleep early”.

Well, I didn’t tell you, my friend is an IIM graduate and working for an MNC as Assistant Director, Consulting.

After some time, while we were walking back to our respective hotels I told her, “What about going to a Bollywood Night party tomorrow?”

She looked at the rates at a nearby club. It was Rs. 2000 for a couple while a woman’s entry was free and said, “Well, I think I would like to go alone because anyways my entry is free. It doesn’t make any sense for me to pay for something that is actually free for me” (she was an empowered woman so would have paid 50% of the entry fee anyway).

I felt, women will be women no matter how empowered they really are. That is why they will remain as a prized catch for men.

***

Shruti Haasan would never want be a ‘bitch’ if she ever read this

bitch

In her new video for Blush, Shruti Haasan tried to slam men for calling women ‘bitch’ for insulting them. In this video she wanted to promote ‘Bitches’. A man comes up with this interpretation that she would never want to read. In this article he had taken the entire script from Shruti’s monologue and gave her reply –

I was on a phone call the other day and I noticed a word cloacked (??) in a joke. ..

Bitch’.. –> Looks like bitch is for humor, or humaar?

This mongrel of an insult slipped into put me in a place… -> Looks like Bitch is insulting for her

and what place might that be? – > Imaginative

The backseat of a slow moving train of your brain reserved for women who are too big to fit into your narrow mind or too tall to cover under your insecurities. –> Wow she thinks our brain has an in built train, great..hope our Railways Minister knew it. smiles_409

‘Bitch’ is a verbal eye-roll you make to classify any woman who is not your cup of tea because she refuses to pour it.  –> Don’t pour baby, keep your juices with you

..and if you think bitch offense me…haha honey, I have got a news for you –> Ok..so bitch is not offensive to her. Contradiction came so quickly? scratch-head01-idea-

The ‘Bitch’ is a teacher who stands against the system – > I remember Barkha Dutt standing against Indian system.

The ‘Bitch’ is a multitasker – > I remember Rohtak Sisters, how they had taken three guys, media and police to task…great going Shruti..devil-animated-

And that’s why she has no time for your excuses – > Did we ask for it? Who bothers?

The ‘Bitch’ has a multimillion dollar business – > Awww…..now don’t send your CVs in there. Already a woman controlled Yahoo started showing door to men (news)

That was based on doubt (?) or sheer determination – > Doubtful business I guess..daydream-

The bitch is pure ambition with hormones ..yeah hormones –> If it doesn’t make sense to you, or can’t understand this line, don’t break your head, even she didn’t know what she meant…chill. Bitch has hormones….oops..only hormones I guess.

The ‘Bitch’ is a girl that said no and left with her ‘Yes’ safely tucked in her handbag – > oh god….please. My education does not make any sense to me now. Safely tucked in handbag???? Left with her ‘Yes”….what the fuck she meant????? It’s simply bitchy ..you know.

A bitch can’t always be nice (shows a statue showing middle finger) – > Do we care? Get lost..

But she may be the kindest –> Again..do we care?

A bitch loses sleep for her kids – > oh yes, sometimes they do kill their kids with cricket bats too –

mother-killed-son

Image courtesy – Mid Day

Put dreams for herself – > Dream baby dream, you really need good sleep.I am not sure where do you put your dreams…handbag?

The bitch is your boss who gave you a raise –> I am sick, why am I thinking of Yahoo’s female CEO who kicks her male employees out only???

The ‘Bitch’ buys lingerie for herself –> sorry, now that is personal. Even I buy my own.i.mobofree.com

Actually now there is no one for these women to buy them lingerie so ‘bitches’ need to buy these themselves. Like it or not baby providers are dying fast.

The bitch wears what she likes – > awwwww….at least she wears something. Somewhat civilized….huh

A bitch isn’t afraid to have her heart broken – > So we also know a bitch has a heart. Now don’t bark.

A bitch isn’t afraid to tell you she loves you – > Noooooooooo…pls no..I beg you

A bitch is a stud with ‘boobs’ – > aww….are those boobs real ones??

Bitch is the only insult you can come up with a woman who left you – > Again bitch has become an insult. Shows bitches are fickle minded.

So the next time you look at me and want to send me flowers –> who said I want to send you flowers. phullzzzzzzzz

Next time you look at my face, my eyes, my clothes…..my …-(long list) – (oops I am tired of looking at all her things) baby or bitch..or whatever you are, pls note I have better things to do in life. So you made it clear that a bitch is a woman who only thinks about herself, a self-centered snobbish person who should be left alone…completely alone.

Now I really think calling you a “bitch” is insult to those animals who are probably the best friends of humans. No wonder why you want to feel proud to be called one, unfortunately I never call any woman a ‘bitch’. You know why? Because real ‘Bitches’ are lovely, adorable. You are not.

kissess

If Amitabh Bachchan had ever visited a courtroom in India

In a promo of his upcoming movie Pink Amitabh Bachchan has said that he had never visited any Indian courtroom –

If Sr. Bachchan had ever visited a courtroom he would have understood how the real life is different from his reel life.

The glossy varnished Teak and Mahogany furniture Amitabh would have seen on the sets of Pink and that he could have used as a mirror to adjust his ponytail – would have given him a jolt in reality. The worn out and dilapidated chairs and tables including those of the judges’ own and broken and thrown away benches would have given him a real pinch.

The well decorated courtrooms and well-behaved people peacefully seated on benches as shown in Indian movies including Pink is a rarity. These on screen portrayal of our courts show it is better for people like Amitji not to visit a court room. Because he may be shocked to find him standing beside most dreaded criminals and jostling for space.

Our on-screen court rooms are all neatly maintained and surprisingly all files are seen in their own place. In most movies we don’t even find enough files suitable for the stature of court shown in movies. However, in a real court room even a tall person like Mr. Bachchan would have vanished within the piles of files. Luckily the bench clerks and judges seat in higher podiums, else even they would have been invisible. If Bachchan had ever presented his arguments in a real court there are chances that he would have presented them to a bunch of files, because the judges were hidden behind the files.

Mr. Bachchan should feel lucky to present his case in Pink in an on screen courtroom with all attention focused on his arguments. In a real courtroom even a person of his stature would have found it difficult to be heard. With chaos all over, people taking calls just outside the court rooms in loud voices, and inside the court room every other advocate trying to push for his case makes even cross questioning inaudible. If the Pink scene was shot in a real courtroom, the witness’ statements wouldn’t have been heard given the distance of the witness box from the judge’s desk. Sometimes there is no witness box or the witness box is covered under piles of litigation files.

If Mr. Bachchan had ever visited a real courtroom wearing full advocate attire, he would have realized why advocates can’t keep their cool and why judges also feel like giving dates rather than judgements. Because for deciding on any case a judge needs to necessarily hear out both parties patiently in the sweltering heat inside the courtrooms. The heat of crowd inside the courtrooms just adds to hot and humid Indian weather with non-functioning overhead fans makes anyone lose temper. Amitji would have found himself lucky if those fans really worked.

Last but not the least, the amount of dust he would have encountered in a real Indian courtroom and the mice, lizard and other beautiful creations of nature, he would have thanked all possible Gods that he is not an advocate in his real life.

In short, a visit to an average Indian courtroom would have left him pink faced, literally.

and to get such quirky take on our stars follo them or just use social media –

FB – Follocelebs
Twitter – @Follocelebs
YouTube – Folloceleb

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Hyderabad witnessed the craziest form of cricket

 Crazy Cricket wicketHowzzat….

The entire field roared in unison. Even spectators were blaming him. The poor batsman didn’t know why he was declared out even before bowling. The batting side had enough balls to spare. But he was given out in the craziest form of cricket that Hyderbad witnessed on the eve of Independence Day this year. It was the Laws by Wife (LBW) over where wife or the alleging person (bowler) wanted him out even without bowling.

A group of men assembled in Hyderabad from all over India from men’s groups were playing on the ground. Two teams 498a Husbands and ATM (Any Time Maintenance) Husbands were taking each other head on. The batting side was known as Accused Team (line up – A1, A2….A11). The bowling side was known as Complainant Side (line up – LW1, LW2….LW11). [note – in court system accused are mentioned as A1, A2 etc., Complainants are referred to as Witness 1, Witness 2 or W1, W2 etc].

Crazy Cricket punishment for six

A batsman (accused) given punishment for hitting over boundary

In this cricket, each time a batsman hit a four or six, he had to compulsorily run between two wickets (lower court and higher court) holding his ears – typical of an accused husband running between courts to get justice.

Since the batsmen was from the accused side, they were not allowed any protection just like husbands are not given any protection in court system. Bowlers (or the alleging side) however was given full protection. They had to bowl wearing full protection gears like helmets, pads etc.

Each over had 6 balls that the organizers called as allegations. Each time a bowler was bowling he was also raising an allegation.

  • “He was cruel”

  • “He used to beat me everyday”

  • “He used to drink every day”

  • “His mother used to threaten me over phone for dowry”

– were some of the common allegations regularly leveled against the batsmen by the bowlers. These are stereotypical allegations made against husbands in any divorce case nowadays.

Crazy Cricket Feminist rule

Feminist intervention during the match

Every time a bowler bowled a no-ball, it was considered as “no allegation” and the bowler was given another chance to make another allegation. It was representative of Indian legal system that provokes the wife to make more allegations. Every wide ball was considered as wild allegations. Some of the “wild allegations” leveled were –

“His cousin brother used to taunt me from USA”

“His ailing father also tried to rape me”

“Neighbors joined him in demanding dowry”

“I am 90 Kgs of weight now, because he didn’t give me any food”

Two batsmen were compulsorily given out after each over using rules of ‘Positive Discrimination’ that is used to create new family laws in India.

 

To declare a batsman ‘Out’, the umpire had to take the bail out and declare “Cancelation of bail’. Umpire had the option to either grant a ‘6’ under Restitution of Conjugal Rights (RCR) or ‘Out’ under Divorce laws (randomly whatever he wished).

The first over was marked as “Honeymoon Over”, [or Honeymoon ………Over], the fifth as LBW – Laws By Wife where wives could make any law, the last over was named Alimony over.

Tie in a match is called settlement whereas win in the match was termed as Acquittal. Score of the match was maintained in a chargesheet.

In this match as the 498a Husbands team was nearing their win the ATM husbands’ bowler came to bowl the fifth over. It was LBW or Laws – By – Wife over. The 498a Husbands needed only four runs to win in two overs. However, in the first ball itself the game was over. The bowler came and without even bowling claimed that the accused person (batsman) be given out. Since it was Laws by Wife over, law made by the bowler who was playing the role of a wife or alleging side was upheld and the umpire was forced to give the batsman out. The game was over without the winning side captain playing at all. ATM husbands won by LBW rule.

Crazy Cricket team

Team

However crazy or funny it may sound, this game showed the reality of Indian family court system and the ordeal that husbands has to go through. Any achievement by the husband is dealt with by giving them punishment, whereas wives are allowed to bend or even create new rules. The spectators blaming the last batsman for being out by LBW rule shows how society comes together when blaming a man for anything.

Last but not the least, the unique game considered truth as retired hurt from the beginning. The organizers gave statutory warning to all for not considering a ‘Doosra’ as the first ONE was expensive enough.

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*Cricket Theme Courtesy – Tr Parthasarathy of SIF Hyderabad

Epic reply of a guy to a second marriage proposal of a lady

Marriage Proposal2

A man gets a second marriage proposal from the family of a lady like this –

Marriage Proposal

He sends an epic reply that bares open today’s society and also tickles our funny bones-

Dear groom hunters,

I am really honored to see your proposal to offer me the apple of your eyes. Since you are not yet dead (or are you?) I think it will be inhumane for me to take away the forbidden apple from you and make you both blinds. Then along with your daughter I will also be responsible to maintain both of you. That will be a very cruel approach to make people blind in their lifetime and since I can’t give anyone eyesight, I have no right to take away the same, too.

I understand that you were a Probashi Bengali family in Delhi – the rape capital of India. We know that men there are rapists and NDTV once said that 75% Indian wives are raped in their lifetime. We also know from Amnesty International that only 1% rape cases in India are reported. Since NDTV and Amnesty says Delhi is the rape capital of India, I have every reason to believe that she may be a result of rape (born in Kolkata).

It is also great to know that both the siblings are rooted to traditions but my little brain could not understand how tradition and modern outlook can be mixed. For example, our tradition said, after attaining puberty women can’t enter sanctum of certain deities, modern outlook as told by Trupti Desai and her Godmother gang is to kick our traditional faiths and create new tradition. Our tradition also said, women (and men) needed to dress decently and be civil in nature. However, modern outlook as propagated by our mainstream media says women are not empowered unless they go naked, semi naked etc. in public and create a debate on everything pertaining to dress. So when you said your daughter is rooted to tradition with a modern outlook, did you mean that they know tradition is better but follow the modern outlook? Sorry, my little brain do not understand this complex behavior and I think I am very insignificant person in front of your daughter. Thus, it is well understood why her last marriage lasted only for one month. That poor guy would not have understood the greatness of your modern values.

Her description in her own words also leaves me spellbound, (Literally, I feel completely incompetent as I don’t understand her statement). I feel humble once again by the crafty language there.

I appreciate that she is a strong lady (so hopefully she will not get unnecessary ailments) with her head strongly held on her shoulders. So now I understand that she is a headstrong person. Believe me, after reading this I have checked my head and its position. Surprisingly, even I found my head held above my shoulder and didn’t fall off even when I shook it both ways. But I found my head and neck to be flexible and not strong headed like her. When I felt her other body parts could also be strong, I felt very weak within and found my strength not matching hers (after all, post marriage how can I protect such a strong lady?).

I was surprised to see that even such a strong lady can have nightmares in her marriage. Did he marry a WWE wrestler? Honestly, I don’t find any person suitable for her other than a WWE wrestler and I am obviously not the one.

In the end you mentioned that you are looking for a cheerful, kind, educated and well established Bengali guy. I am not sure if any WWE wrestler is kind (at least their on-screen behavior does not make me feel so) or educated. I am also not sure if any Bengali guy had ever made it to WWE arena. So I guess you are looking for a product that is surely not me and I am not sure where that exist.

I am not sure why you are looking for a guy previously married and without any child. Are you looking for an impotent guy? Or someone who broke up within one month of his marriage like your daughter did and hence does not have any child? Don’t you think that if the guy was kind enough, his wife would not have left him (or he would not have divorced his wife)? Also, I am not sure why your strong daughter is looking for a well-established groom and not a poor and jobless one. As a strong person she can maintain such a person, can’t she?

I don’t understand why are you looking for a respected Bengali family in a divorced man? One who is already divorced and well established, is likely to have criminal cases filed against him to get share of his money and property. So even if such a guy and family ever existed, that family is most likely to be known as wife-beaters, dowry seekers and rapists today. They would have already been forced to shell out a lot of money to settle their cases outside court to keep their honor. So most likely they are already poor now.

Overall, I find that you are looking for an impossible match for your daughter. Definitely, I am not the one. I am feeling lucky today because I was not married to your daughter in my first marriage, then I would have become very poor in one month time. If you find anyone matching your criteria, do let me know. We are planning to create a human museum of rare species humans. He will be our first collection.

Best wishes.

How dare Salman Khan get raped?

Salman Khan has made yet another controversial statement when he said he felt like “a raped woman” when his brother says that in reality he wanted to say “he worked like a donkey”.

The feminist outrage over the remark is understandable. As a macho man whom thousands of Indians worship as their role model and who millions of women dream of everyday; how can he even dare to compare his (whatever) pain with that of a woman only who has the prerogative of having that feeling.

It is a different matter that every year thousands of such feelings of women go down the drain when courts rejects their rape allegations but this feeling is so close to a woman’s heart that no man can ever dare to feel the same kind of pain. Women and specially feminists own the monopoly of having a feeling of rape and anyone challenging them would be cornered even by the use of media.

Example – Mid Day reported this –

MidDay Salman

The same news shows Madhu Kishwar tweets –

Madhu Kishwar

For example see the analogy given by a feminist here

https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/745290197210796032

Yes, when Salman has killed people on the streets, when he killed Blackbuck how can he even get the feeling of being raped? That is what defies our logic as feminists too do not understand how on earth a person who can kill others get raped himself.

Some feminists argued that Salman earlier alleged that his ex-beau Aishwarya Rai had also abused him. Evidently a macho man who is supposed to save others, can’t complain about being abused or feeling lowly. That is when the carefully created male stereotype gets hurt. If strong men like him do not remain protector for women and keeps complaining about their pain in different manner then humanity will end. Who will play the role of the protector in the society?

Some other feminists slammed Salman for trivializing rape or feeling of rape. Notably Nirbhaya’s mother (who has become a TV icon nowadays) also demanded apology from him. She is desperately trying to portray her daughter’s name everywhere but people are still not taking her name and calling her as ‘Nirbhaya’ for some mysterious reasons. With celebrities like Nirbhaya’s mother demanding apology from Salman shows how grave the situation has become and how Salman has made fun of rape and feeling of rape.

While we are waiting for UN General Secretary to comment over Salman’s comment because he had earlier did not waste too much time on commenting about Nirbhaya’s rape or “India’s Daughter” documentary. It seems that UN General Secretary has got some other job to do now and we are sure very soon he would make an unforgettable comment over this issue, too.

What Salman had said just before the release of his film Sultan was enough to create a controversy that would make sure his film becomes a success. Whether raped or not, people will now watch the film to see the level of torture he had to undergo for shooting the film. Maybe the director of the movie will now get a rape case against him. It is worth a wait to see if MRAs support victim Salman in this struggle or keep their mum.

In short, a man like Salman can never be allowed to feel the pain of rape. It is a feminists’ forte’ and only they can guard the feeling and nurture the same in various ways. It is only a female feminist who can get visually raped, orally raped, raped from a distance, raped online and raped even in their dreams. Any man who dare to steal that feeling needs to be shamed and bashed like feminists rightfully did recently.

Sultan Poster

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